my rock…

Feb 4, 2026 By Melina

When I think of a rock, I tend to think of something hard. Firm. Powerful if used. Able if built upon. A rock is supposed to be solid. But to be vulnerable and honest, in reality, my rock was soft. My hope, my strength, was passive. It was weak. I thought it needed me to mold it, it needed to be manhandled by me. If I didn’t control it, what would it be? Mere clay?!

Well, that’s when I realized something really big. I had the roles reversed!

I thought to get on with my life, to protect myself and my kids, I needed to be the rock. And everything else around me was my clay. What was going to keep us free from abuse, keep us aware and alert was my ability to learn, teach and foresee the future. I had to know every possible way someone could deceive us, every trick in the book. I needed to be better than the best manipulator in town. I had to control the world, the clay. My clay. Or so I thought.

I needed to protect us, but the truth is, I couldn’t.

My best efforts are what kept us tied to an abuser. I really believed he could change, that he would. I trusted our church, the many spiritual leaders who instructed me to forgive and forget. I knew Jesus could free him, free us, but I didn’t think it would mean what it did. You see, my version of freedom was a redeemed marriage. A whole family. What I didn’t know, was my ex’s idea was a harem.

Jesus showed me His idea of freedom.

I called shelters when the cops showed up, there wasn’t any room. I asked our church for guidance; they told me to attend the single-mom’s class. Everything else they said: “the body would naturally provide.” What does that even mean?! No, they couldn’t help with a job. No, I couldn’t pay for a rental, they were reserved for missionaries. No, the other ladies and their families in my bible studies didn’t want to get involved. It was “too” anything. Too dangerous, dirty, messy, unknown. We were too much. They made that clear. We were on our own, but not free.

Jesus showed me He was my freedom.

So all I had was a dim hope, an idea, a dream, my kids and my Bible. AND THAT WAS MORE THAN ENOUGH. The couple hundred dollars hiding in my bra wouldn’t do, but it wasn’t nothing. I would need to be aware and keep us away from those who wanted to take from our kindness, suck up our hope of escape. But our journey was starting!

My adventure was His.

The truth is, I thought I was “making it happen.” And in a way, I was. I was using the skills God helped me gain, without losing myself. I was discovering her again AND sustaining our journey. The truth is, I was the clay all along. The more I learned about myself, the more I smiled at her resilience, her tenacity, her creativity and resourcefulness. I’ll tell you a secret – you have all that too!

I was what was being molded, not my path, it was me!

And that’s okay, I needed to be soft, to stay soft, so I could be formed. So I could properly walk the path, each step, over each rock, through the thorns, into the muck. And out the other end! Only now can I see that, and now I can say that with joy! One day soon, you will too!

My rock wasn’t me. All this time, it was Him.

It might feel like you have a million things to do and get done. A million issues waiting and weighing on you. Remember friend, they aren’t your burden, they’re His. And the responsibility is real, but it’s being used to keep you soft, the beautiful, sensitive and gentle spirit you still are. You’re a perfect creation, being transformed and made new. The junk of that old life is being removed, and you’re becoming more and more shimmery sweet. (I see you shine! 🙂 ) Don’t back down and don’t give in.

The good work He’s doing is being made new in you. You are that new thing – for the world to see.

Let Him be your rock. He can take it.

“my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior-from violent people you save me.”
1 Samuel 22:3